Once upon a time, in a land in the middle of the Kingdom, there lived a woman who was such a pretty shade of pink. She had two daughters who were stunningly studded in gleaming sparkles. The people of the land seemed warm and welcoming upon first introductions. But soon it became clear that if the woman and her daughters weren't covered in drab fashions of navy blue and khaki, covering their unique features, the people would become uncomfortable. They'd glance furtively from the sides of their eyes, squirm, and nod to their friends in the direction of the woman and her daughters.
Does that sound like the beginning of a fun story? Where do you think it's headed? Will the woman and her daughters hide themselves away or will the people of the land learn to appreciate their unique features?
I wish I could say it was just a story, but unfortunately, this is one of those not so nice judgements of my failings, this time not only as a wife and mother, but as a "Christian" wife and mother.
It was Easter Sunday and I had picked out a pink, knee length sundress to wear to our new church, paying careful attention to find a black cardigan to cover my shoulders as there were only wide straps and not actual sleeves on the dress. I wasn't insensitive to the fact that we were attending a more conservative church than we were used to, so that's why the cardigan mattered. I didn't want to call attention to myself by baring my shoulders and leaving my shoulder tattoo uncovered.
My daughters had been very concerned that our tradition of getting new, fancy dresses for Easter would be ruined since we didn't go to a "dressing up church" anymore. My husband and I went out of our way to make sure they had pretty, colorful dresses next to their Easter baskets and they were thrilled when they saw them.
So dressed in our Easter Sunday best, we went to church. We sang, we listened to the sermon, we shared pleasantries. And just before we loaded into the vehicle to go home, my husband was pulled into a private discussion. A male member of the church told my husband that he needed to speak to me about my dress. In his opinion it was inappropriate and tempted him to unseemly thoughts. Bravo to my husband! He let the man know that he had no concerns about how I was dressed and that this man's temptations were his own responsibility to manage. At that point the man threatened to have us kicked out of the church, to which my husband told him to do what he had to do.
My girls wore their dresses without anything being said that day. However, a few Sundays later, I was pulled into conversation with the pastor's wife. She talked about how pretty my girls looked in pink, yellow and orange. Then she said, "My girls and I don't wear those colors. Pastor doesn't think Christian women should call attention to themselves wearing such bold colors. " She said it as if it was just information passed in conversation. And so I responded in kind. Not showing that I understood the reprimand, but just nodding sadly about her colorless plight.
Now, I have to state that I really did not understand what was wrong with the dress I had worn on Easter, especially since it was a little past the knee, not figure hugging, and I had taken the precaution of wearing that cardigan. So imagine my surprise when the very next week, as I was entering the ladies room, I was looked up and down with disapproval by the visiting sister-in-law of the pastor. She said, "My that's a lot of pink" as she swept past me. There it was. It wasn't the dress, it was the color!
What was I wearing that day? A pink embroidered cotton t-shirt with a pink paisley prairie skirt that came to my ankles!
It wasn't too provocative, it was just too PINK. I chuckle every time I think of it. What's that saying about judging a book by it's cover? Oh yeah...don't. I don't know what my pink cover was saying to those people, but I can promise the book is so much more interesting. I'm not sure they could handle it.
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